Today I’m sharing a secret with you about my travel experience. Often I share the good points and the fun things that I’ve done but I think what’s being unfairly left out is the times that I struggle. Travel is not always easy for me and I often deal with anxiety on the road. Maybe if you’re feeling that I’ve always got it all together, you should read this.
Do I Look Foolish?
When I tell this story to people they either look at me in shock or laugh. How could someone so fearful of travel make it their entire life? Well, I’m either incredibly mad or there’s more to it than that.
In the last 8 months, I’ve traveled solo or with my kids over 14 times to different places. Each time I struggle with an internal battle that tries to keep me home.
To be completely honest, planes make me weak in the knees. Seriously, I have been known to have visibly shaky knees while in the air.
The entire ride I sit in my seat and pray for a safe landing; I pray for it to all be over.
Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe.
Once I’m actually at my destination, the nerves don’t quite end yet. Typically it takes me an entire day to calm down or if it’s bad, even more. Anxiety has a way of filling me to the point I feel sick. It tampers with my “free spirit” and tells me I’m out of my league.
This doesn’t sound like the intrepid traveler you may have thought I was, does it?
I guess that’s my point.
Even though we don’t see ourselves as “fit” to do something, that doesn’t mean we can’t or shouldn’t do it.
Travel Makes Me Strong
Whenever I get through sharing my secret about travel with people, they always ask the same question – “Then why do you do it”? No matter how many times I hear this question, I always still seem to be thrown off by it.
Why wouldn’t I? Just because something is scary, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. Isn’t it the heavy weights that build muscle?
Solo travel, for me, is about growth. It is an opportunity to build the strength that I desire in myself.
You see, when I am out there alone, I have either the choice to give up, sit down on the sidewalk and cry or to carry on through my fears. So far, I have carried on and that gives me strength.
Even though I struggle through travel, it’s not something I plan to give up on very soon. It’s the feeling I get after I’ve conquered a hurdle that is my reason. It’s proving to my daughter that she can do what she puts her mind to. Finally, it’s about proving to myself that I am not my fear – that I can be so much more.
When people ask me why I choose to put myself into situations that make me nervous or that I don’t necessarily feel I belong in, I think about where I’d be if I hadn’t.
So that’s my secret of the day – I am not always as confident in travel as I want to be but I’m still going all in.
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