I want to start off by saying that I completely understand that it is sometimes just easier to say “no”. I too catch myself spouting off “no” to keep from having extra work to do in my day (Goodness knows we all have enough to do!). But once in awhile, it is good to force yourself to say “yes”. Try it. . you may be surprised at the reaction you get from your kids.
Before I go any further: I know that the word “permission” is not always well accepted in a marriage, but to some extent there does need to be a discussion held between partners when large amounts of money is going to be spent or there are life changing decisions to be made. “Permission” may not be the best choice of words, but it works within this analogy. . so go with it. Plus, the “permission” is necessary for both parties of a relationship <- not being sexist.
It doesn’t have to be about buying shoes, it could be about taking that trip you’ve dreamed of ,getting chickens and starting a backyard homestead, going back to school or following a passion. Whatever it is, if you know that the answer you are going to receive is always “no” then you will just stop asking for permission. My mother always said about my father, “It is easier to get forgiveness than permission”. It’s true. Nobody wants to live a life where they can’t do anything. Now think about how differently you would react if your dreams and wants were carefully taken into consideration by your partner and you were able to discuss options rather than be told a strict “no” all of the time? I think that in this situation you would be more willing to talk things through with them and would respect their opinion even more. This is the same for our children.